All Press Releases for 10 November, 2008
Holiday Planning Fights in Your Future? - Three keys to a more peaceful holiday season
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Does the thought of holiday planning with your partner bring you warm toasties or the big chill? Family therapist Kelley Brigman offers suggestions for keeping the homelife happy this holiday season. Mankato, MN (Syndacast) Nov 10, 2008 -- With major holidays looming on the horizon and money tight in many areas, families across the country are making holiday plans and facing big decisions.Will you eat turkey with his family or roast chestnuts with yours - or maybe just stay home? Do you honor her tradition of sharing gifts on Christmas eve or join your family bright and early Christmas morning to see what Santa brought? And how much are you going to spend? Family therapist and author Dr. Kelley Brigman offers three keys to help you lock out family disagreements at holiday time: 1. Have a clear policy. Even the smallest of companies have policies if they wish to succeed. All employees know who makes decisions and how they get made. In the same way, family policies and a clear understanding about how decisions get made will eliminate assumptions and misunderstandings. Families may have to decide whose family to visit this Thanksgiving, but family members know they are being treated fairly when they have a policy such as visiting her family on odd-numbered years and his on even-numbered years. 2. Plan ahead but stay flexible. Start planning early - before holiday stress hits. Decisions are more difficult to make when we are under pressure. On the other hand, flexibility is a must. A sudden serious illness can make it important to visit your father-in-law this year, even though it is the year to visit the other side of the family. New jobs, new babies, or even a sudden winter storm may upset the best of plans. And it is important to allow for changes over the years. A couple willing to spend Christmas with the in-laws in the early years of their marriage may decide they prefer to spend Christmas at home with their own family once children come along. 3. Focus on solutions Discussions about holiday plans are great opportunities to practice conflict management skills. Be sure everyone understands the facts and all options on the table. Identify the problem in terms all parties understand. Be clear about what you want but focus on what you can give to help your partner meet his or her goal. Avoid sarcasm, unkind humor and hurtful statements. And do resist the temptation to dredge up past hurts. If both partners keep the other’s best interests at heart - if you always remember that you are playing on the same team - planning ahead or even a sudden upset in well laid plans doesn’t need to turn the holidays into a marital war zone. Dr. Kelley Brigman is Family Relations Professor Emeritus at Minnesota State University Mankato, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of the book Marriage: A Simple Guide to Success (Purple’s Edge Media LLC, 2008). See more at Kelley Brigman ### Bookmark - Del.icio.us | Digg | Furl It | Spurl | RawSugar | Simpy | Shadows | Blink It | My Web Other Releases by this Member
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